na'a mna werba • i wonder

i wonder

i wonder about you

at random times, in random places.

you’ve worn a path in my head,

treading all those paces.

i contemplate what things

might be like in our future.

is this what i’ve waited for?

will i be left to tend more sutures?

“there’s one way to find out”

i always say to motivate.

but i don’t make a move,

i just pensively wait.

never one to heed my own advice,

i am caught in a trap.

i know i want you,

and what’s wrong with that?

but then i start to wonder

(maybe i’m thinking too hard).

what am i getting into here?

headed toward more sympathy cards?

maybe i’m jaded by the chronicles

of the broken hearts i’ve collected.

or maybe i’m reticent because

nothing ever goes as expected.

then there’s the thinking i do

when you amaze me without even trying.

kinda makes me want to lay with you

and talk for hours, no bullshit underlying.

your mind is as complex as mine,

but full of a whole new perspective.

i could spend a long, long time with you

building a fantastic collective.

i am stuck here, tired of being alone, and tired of being left in pain.

then again, if you never go after what you want,

what is there to gain?